"The Beard Grows, But The Head Does Not Grow Wiser."
"Lawyers work hard and, like us, they're human, many of them."-Dick Cavett
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” - H. L. Mencken
"I tell you, I'll consult my lawyer. And if he advises me to do it, I'll get a new lawyer."-Groucho Marx 
"We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can."
Back in the simpler days of attorney firm self-promotion, firms would give new clients a small memento of the newly formed attorney/client relationship. Common items were pens, coffee mugs, refrigerator magnets, notepads, key chains, penlights and plastic drink bottles. All of which had the firm's name and phone number prominently displayed.
When I did plaintiff's work at Bernstein & Bernstein, I remember we had some really low quality ball point pens that were included in every new file package. The client could sign the retainer agreement and keep the pen. Impressive. Kind of like signing a nuclear non-proliferation treaty. The pen, as required, had the firm name and main phone number.
To be honest, I stopped giving out the pens to new clients. I didn't want them to connect a poor quality writing instrument with possible poor quality legal representation.
I guess I didn't know when I was well off. One day, while looking for some office supply item, I came across a large box filled with the the promotional item pictured above. A nice chrome-like, multi-purpose, multi-bladed jackknife.
Good Lord. I an not sure who authorized that purchase.. Given the the rather rough and tumble (to coin a phrase) background of many of our clients, I don't know how he thought it was a good idea to arm them. With the name and phone number of the firm to boot.
"Channel 4 with Breaking News. Police are searching for the masked man who robbed a local west side gas station last night. Fortunately, the attendant is expected to recover from several stab wounds suffered in the incident. The assailant fled the scene and is still at large, but the police were able to recover the weapon used in the attack, a silver jackknife engraved with the name and phone number of a suburban personal injury law firm. Calls to the law office were not returned. Prosecutors are considering a issuing a warrant to obtain the firm's client list."
Dr. Joyce Brothers did say that there was no such thing as bad publicity, but I am not so sure.
I have been gone from B&B for several years, but I hope the box and its contents have remained untouched since.
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