"The Beard Grows, But The Head Does Not Grow Wiser."
"Lawyers work hard and, like us, they're human, many of them."-Dick Cavett
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” - H. L. Mencken
"I tell you, I'll consult my lawyer. And if he advises me to do it, I'll get a new lawyer."-Groucho Marx 
"We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can."
(This article is not yet ready for publication-ed)
I am comparatively new to LinkedIn, and I have yet to post my first article. While cruising the site, I note that self-promotion is a very common theme. People love to recognize and congratulate themselves for what one would really need to stretch to call “achievements”.
For instance:
“So proud to have been nominated as a 'Lawyer of Distinction'”.
Translation: I ignored the weekly emails in my spam folder from “LOD” asking me to nominate myself for so long, that they decided to save me the trouble, and nominated me themselves. An achievement that will only cost me $775 per year to maintain.
As to achievements, winning/defeating a Summary Disposition motion is nice, but is it worthy of a “Victory Dance” on LinkedIn/Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Tinder(Oops, best forget that last one-maybe).
Back when I was a plaintiff PI lawyer, I had a streak of 15 months during which I didn’t lose a single Summary Disposition motion. Or, should I say in proper self-promoting fashion, I "won" every single SD motion I argued. And believe me, in those days when premises liability cases still were filed, and Serious Impairment motions on auto neg cases were common, there were a lot of SD motions.
Granted, the streak came at a time before social media ruled our professional and personal lives. But, there was always The Detroit Legal News, Michigan Lawyers Weekly and the State Bar of Michigan Journal. I never contacted them about the streak. Heck, I didn’t even tell my wife about my “achievement”.
Really, the only reason I remember the streak was that it was “bookended” by losses to the late Floyd Virant, a great attorney, and a better man. For many years, Floyd and I sat together on the Finance Committee at St. Michael’s parish in Livonia. As we shot the breeze during one such meeting, it did occur to me that Floyd’s victories had marked the beginning and end of “the streak”. As far as I know, Floyd never notified the Michigan Association of Trial Defense Counsel.
The streak was memorable in one way. My string of results did get around the office. One day, another attorney in the firm said he had to answer an SD motion. Given my my obvious “gifts” in that area, he asked if he could look at my briefs. That was awkward.
I know social media demands current content. And I really don’t want to wait until the hearing on my next Motion for Security for Costs (3 weeks) or my next Summary Disposition hearing (4 weeks). So, I think I’ll try this recent triumph:
VICTORY IN WAYNE COUNTY
So proud to have had my unopposed Motion to Extend Scheduling Order granted by Wayne County Circuit Court Judge David Allen today.
Because I was first to check in, I was put first on the Judge’s call, which was an added honor, and saved the carrier money.
I had asked for this combination anti-trust, construction death, product liability case, involving several Chinese shell corporations to be moved to Track 3. Judge Allen hand crafted a special order for me, which on inspection, seems more like Track 1.6, but a win is a win. My Motion was so airtight that my opponent didn’t even show up! Here I am proudly holding the Order along with Judge Allen and members of his great staff.
(Insert pic of me holding Order and Judge Allen with his around my shoulder giving me a Trumpian "thumbs up")
#LovintheLaw#Lovinmyjob#ButlerWinsBig#GoTigers#LetsGoRedWings
#ButlerWinsRealBig#DoAGoodTurnDaily#LSMFT#WhatARush
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