"The Beard Grows, But The Head Does Not Grow Wiser."
"Lawyers work hard and, like us, they're human, many of them."-Dick Cavett
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” - H. L. Mencken
"I tell you, I'll consult my lawyer. And if he advises me to do it, I'll get a new lawyer."-Groucho Marx 
"We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can."
"(Insert name of client here) is a wonderful witness, is extremely sympathetic, makes a great appearance, and will make a great impression on a (insert name of county)jury."--Last sentence of the introductory paragraph of plaintiff's Case Evaluation summary.
As a plaintiff PI attorney for 20+ years, I used that sentence as a matter of course.
Until the time I represented a career felon in a combined auto neg/PIP case. This gentleman had been in prison 20 of the 21 years before the accident, and in fact, he had been released only 12 days before the accident happened. Hey, anyone can get in an accident.
Adding a little spice to this case was the fact that by the time I was assigned the case (it was already in court), our hero had been back in prison for 9 months. He was violated on his parole based on a complaint filed by his girlfriend that he had physically attacked her. Our client was claiming that this same girlfriend be paid (through this lawsuit), by the PIP carrier for Attendant Care and Replacement Services rendered to him.
And the cherry on the sundae--even though this guy had not had a paying job in 22 years, some company extended him a litigation funding loan before he went back in "the pen".
As he hadn't had much of an opportunity to treat much either, his case did not present at all well to a Case Evaluation panel, or later to a judge at the Serious Impairment Summary Disposition motion.
Being the enterprising attorney that I am, I did argue:
He could no longer walk as far as he could before the accident. (He liked to walk at least a half mile daily, but the prison walls were only a quarter mile from his cell).
His activities were restricted based on written directives from licensed professionals. (Officials of the Michigan Department of Corrections).
He required assistive devices in order to safely make his way about his "home". (A shiv/shank).
He would make a fine appearance in Court. (Maybe I said "frequent appearance" in court. He certainly he had sufficient experience).
Justice was done in that case. We did not appeal.
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