LEX FUGIT

OLD GREETING FOR A NEW NORMAL

COVID 19 has severally limited in person appearances for nearly all phases of the practice.

During my last few in person proceedings in the olden days (Now any time before March 23, 2020), attorneys didn't shake hands.  We fumbled awkwardly with variations of the fist pump and the elbow bump.

In the Zoom world, such greetings do not translate, gratefully.  And I refuse to use the Mickey Mouse gloved hand wave emoji.

In the current environment, wearing a baseball cap, bill forward rather than backward is considered by many to be a sign of deference to the court.  

We are better than this? (I pray).

So I have come upon my personal solution, thanks to a new client and to attorney Dewyna Bazzi, of the AT Law Group.

I met with a new client, IN PERSON!, last week, and I was concerned about respecting a culture with which I was not really familiar.  I called Dewyna, asking for some pointers.

She not only told me, she showed me (selfies in the office are hard):

This simple greeting was, and is, perfect.  My clients appreciated it.  And, it is perfect for our new normal.  No hipster fist pump.  No awkward declining of a proffered hand crusher.  Translates well to Zoom World.

And it certainly beats the my other candidate for contactless greeting-The Little Rascals "High Sign" (click picture for the complete effect):

Thank you, Dewyna, from the other side of the "v",  for your help, and for pointing me the way forward.

SELF-PROMOTION APOCALYPSE: WILLIAM S. GILBERT PREDICTS LINKEDIN

I am "on" LinkedIn, and I even paid for the Premium version for a few months. That said, I continue to have trouble understanding its value as either a paid or a free service.

Nearly all  LinkedIn content is a combination of self congratulation, self promotion, and mock humility.  And oh, lest I forget, omniscience. LinkedIn lawyers never lose, apparently.  The definition of victory and achievement is, however, quite broad.

Disclaimer.  I began practicing law before the digital age, and the advent of purchased honorifics.  I have tried many cases, winning some losing some.  I have argued countless motions, dispositive and otherwise, doing pretty well.  I did not broadcast the wins using the technology of the day. I have been profiled in newspapers more than once.  I have had numerous articles published, and awards bestowed.  I have held more offices and served on more committees and boards than I can remember.  Most of the plaques, certificates, and framed articles are stacked in a corner of my basement, next to some outdated computer towers and monitors.    Each week I decline and delete multiple offers to buy various honors.  

My point is that not everything I, and I daresay you have done, merits proclamation to the planet Earth and beyond.

Yet on LinkedIn everybody is a genius, posting and at the same time digitally blushing,  at the glories bestowed upon them by an astute and aware public.  And such achievements.  One group posted 8x10 pictures of the members of golf outing committee, each member meriting his own post.

The words "Honored" and "Humbled" appear often, as does "Congratulations".

Recently, an attorney I had connected with (in an evil hour) posted about receiving notice of an "unexpected victory" right as he left for vacation.  This victory was on a discovery motion concerning whether a deposition was to be in person or by Zoom.  HUZZAH!   I bet no one paid for his own drinks in the Grand Hotel bar that night.  Personally, I consider that the LinkedIn equivalent of posting a picture of your dinner on Facebook.

If everything is noteworthy, if everything is special, if honors can be purchased online, is anything really exceptional?

Over 130 years ago, Gilbert and Sullivan predicted the world of LinkedIn.  From the operetta The Gondoliers, the song "There Lived a King" contains these lyrics:

In short, whoever you may be,

To this conclusion you'll agree,

When every one is somebodee,

Then no one's anybody! 

 

The video below shows the entire song and is worth a look.