FEEDING THE HUMBLEBRAG BEAST

I do have several media accounts, but I really don't pretend to understand them .  For instance:

My Instagram account (4 years):  Never posted anything.

My Twitter account (7 years): 4 original Tweets-maybe.  I'll never make it in politics.

LinkedIn (6 years): 2 total posts/shares, which I don't think I can find on my "page" or whatever they call it.

Facebook Page (11 years):  Very few personal posts.  No politics. No pictures of my food.  No family business shared.

The one exception to this level of activity is a Detroit Catholic Schools Group page I moderate on Facebook.  Number of members?  Humility forbids. And if there is a way of measuring "hits" I haven't been interested enough to find out.

LinkedIn is supposed to be the social media platform for professionals.  It is (or maybe has become)not a business resource, but a nauseating morass of shameless self congratulation and self promotion.

The 2 most common words on LinkedIn:  Humbled and Honored.  And the bar for LinkedIn's "humblebrag" accomplishments is set pretty low.

As to self-promotion, and here I kid you not (as Jack Paar used to say), a young lawyer of my very limited acquaintance, last week posted a redacted copy of an arbitration award he obtained when he sued a tenant on behalf of a landlord for the full unexpired future term of a leased property the tenant had vacated during COVID.  He invited people to contact him so he could do the same for them.  Thanks for pitching in during the crisis, chief.

LinkedIn is not set up the same as Facebook.  It is hard to find someone's past posts unless you are really interested in finding them, and who is?

So, to keep yourself in the forefront on LinkedIn, you have to post a lot.  Under such conditions, keeping the Humblebrag Beast that is LinkedIn, fed can be a challenge.

I am here to help.  These are accomplishments from my own recent experience.  Please feel free to use:

"Humbled and Honored to have been pre-qualified for a Wayfair credit card".  To be fair, they did congratulate me.

"Honored and Humbled (mixing the terms makes you seem genuine) to have reached Level 300 of Bubble Pop Origins, without ever having to purchase extra moves or boosters".  Probably better not mention that feat took 7 months.

"Honored (not using both terms makes you sound really humble) to have become an Office Depot VIP."  I only had to spend $500 to qualify.

"Humbled (see above) to be a Preferred Customer at Panera Bread."  I am entitled to a free bagel, if redeemed by Nov. 1.

 

So as not to sound too arrogant, I have to admit that I am truly humbled by having to admit that for some reason I can't recall, I actually paid for the LinkedIn Premium service for 2 months.  That is certainly no cause to brag, humble or otherwise.