"The Beard Grows, But The Head Does Not Grow Wiser."
"Lawyers work hard and, like us, they're human, many of them."-Dick Cavett
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” - H. L. Mencken
"I tell you, I'll consult my lawyer. And if he advises me to do it, I'll get a new lawyer."-Groucho Marx 
"We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can."
I am not a fan of LinkedIn. I find the humblebrag that dominates the platform comical/nauseating. I do have a LinkedIn page, but I keep it almost entirely for its entertainment value. It is often good for a laugh. My favorite part of LinkedIn is not a part of LinkedIn at all. It is the Twitter account, "Crap on LinkedIn".
Way back when I must have clicked some box indicating I was open to job offers. So, I still get an email each day with job opportunities. Most listings come from employment agencies trying to build pools of candidates they can refer to clients who will pay them a commission. But LinkedIn does pride itself on finding opportunities that match your expressed preferences and qualifications.
So, I have received emails alerting me to employment opportunities with the FBI, at a time when I was several years beyond the mandatory retirement age for field agents.
One of my favorites is the ad above, under the heading of "New Jobs in Livonia" (Michigan). This alerts me to an opening for a California Mineral Rights Attorney! What an opportunity. As LinkedIn often adds, "Be one of the first to apply".
I am not licensed in California, and I am not a mineral rights attorney by training or experience. In fact, I wouldn't recognize a mineral right if I fell down an open mine shaft.
How does such a job ad make its way to a superannuated lawyer from Michigan? At one time or another in my legal career, maybe I said that I found myself between a rock and a hard place? They probably took my interest in the position for granite.
I looked up other geology puns to add here, but they were uniformly awful. For instance, "If I was not interested in the job, it was my fault".
So, instead of puns, I looked my LinkedIn page, and clicked the jobs icon for job suggestions meeting my profile. Well the FBI is still hiring, and when I clicked on the search button for attorney jobs in Livonia, I got this:
To be fair, I do love the Detroit Club. Reminds me of the good old days when the Mediation Tribunal, located across the street, held hearings in person.
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